I have struggled with depression since I was 15 years old. In the 40 years since my initial session with a psychologist, I have been working to keep my illness in check. In the following pages, you will read about my struggles, my triumphs, and my strategies for beating the crap out of depression. Whether you’re bipolar, depressed, or just struggling with periods of darkness that are unexplained, this book can give you some ideas. I am here to being a story of hope to those struggling with depression. This is my story. This is my recovery story.
Chapter 1: Why Am I a Suicide Statistic?
I lost a friend to suicide last weekend. This is how our stories intersect, how I’ve struggled with suicidal thoughts, and what we talked about days before he took his own life.
Chapter 2: When Contemplating Suicide (In the Final Seconds of Life)
Suicide ideation is common. Plans for suicide is more serious. If you have a plan call for help. 911 will do if you can’t find the suicide hotline numbers. Here’s a bit of my most recent suicidal activities and a simple strategy I came up with to make offing myself a more remote possibility.
Chapter 3: How My Bipolar Depression Showed Up in High School
I was a freshman in high school when my depression showed up and took away my ability to reason things out by myself. I couldn’t think clearly and I didn’t know what had happened. Sure, my dad was dying, but I was also failing Spanish class, and I was asking for help and not really getting any relief.
Chapter 4: Fighting Back Against Depression: How to be a Friend
Here is the final discussion I had with my friend a few days before he took his own life. “You are the only one who can help you,” I said to him. And we made a plan for his recovery. He couldn’t see his way to hope again. He stopped taking my calls and ended his life with a cryptic biblical quote from the Bible.
And here are some of the posts on my divorce/single-parenting blog that will form some of the additional chapters of the book.
- There’s Something Missing
- Growing Up in a Warzone: Childhood Trauma and Adult PTSD
- Getting High: The Flip Side of Depression
- What’s Underneath the Pain?
- Sitting In Silence with the Grief
- Facing My Personal Dragon: Depression
- Refinding Yourself After a Breakup
- Avoidance Never Works
- What My Breakup and Recovery Have Felt Like
- My Side of the Mountain – Understanding Depression
- Please Don’t Underestimate My Fragility or My Ferocity
- The Little Oblivion I Will Often Seek
- A Good Man in a Storm, Even After Divorce
- Minimizing Collateral Damage of Depression and Divorce
- Thinking About Doing It: Depression and Creativity
- Divorce Recovery Journaling: The Life You Write Is the Life You Live
- Father, My Father: Forgiving My Dad and Myself on Father’s Day
- The Fracture of Divorce: My Dad’s Hand On My Head, Forever
- Listening to the Little Man Inside, Healing Our Hearts
- Lean Into Anger: Healing My Father’s Fury
- National Hopeline Network: 1-800-SUICIDE (784-2433)
- National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
- National Youth Crisis Hotline: 1-800-448-4663
- If You’re Feeling Suicidal – Online Resources – Suicide.org
- Help Find Local Resources for Depression and Suicide Prevention – TWLOHA.ORG
- On Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain: Vulnerable People Do Not Always Look Vulnerable – TWLOHA.ORG
- The Bridge (amazing documentary about the alure of jumping from the Golden Gate Bridge)
- Stop Saying Committed Suicide, Call It Death by Suicide – Suicide.org
- The Dark Days Archives from The Whole Parent
- The Depression Cure: The 6-Step Program to Beat Depression without Drugs
- **Get It Done When You’re Depressed
- An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness
- Darkness Visible: A Memoir of Madness
- Listening to Prozac: The Landmark Book About Antidepressants and the Remaking of the Self
- **Against Depression
- How I Stayed Alive When My Brain Was Trying to Kill Me: One Person’s Guide to Suicide Prevention