Crushing Static (torture and teeth)
The noise-canceling headphones have no solution for cranial skull vibrations on the magnitude of a jet airplane going directly overhead. I liked the dentist and the young assistant holding the sucky tube and keeping my mouth open for the assault. The music would not get loud enough. The noise suppression was non-compus-mentus and I was pulling into a form of Rigor Mortis as the hour of grinding and gnawing continued.
I tried to focus on the good things in my life. The girlfriend and her languorous snuggles. The job that afforded me the privilege of getting my three front teeth ripped out but would only cover the one that fell off. The dim theme of the Red Hot Chili Peppers who kept cycling into slow and quiet songs as the drilling was crescendoing.
I’m not going to think about the affirmations/mindfulness/zen priestess who just un-LinkedIn me over a question I had about neuroplasticity and mindfulness and affirmations. Yes, that is not what is needed. I searched for positive vibes amidst the horrible ones being inflicted upon me, relentlessly. He was working to get me done before my meeting. It was 8:25 on a Tuesday morning.
“I’m happy, healthy, and strong.”
“I want to have teeth that don’t randomly fall out.”
“I like winter cold.”
“This dental assistant smells nice.”
My mind flitted around from the assistant to the professional Buddhist. I wondered how in the fkn world I didn’t ask for nitrous. But, I could not beat myself up about it. I remember to charge the Airpod Pros. I also did not take a Xanax prior to the massacre.
“I have healthy and beautiful teeth.”
The sucking tube was jamming my lip against my other teeth and I couldn’t get out the words. They wouldn’t come. Language was of no use in the moment. Nothing was making sense, as I dissolved into the static noise of the grinding away of three teeth I’d paid for three times over. Let’s see, if I live another 20 years, I might get to pay for my movie star or at least tv show creator glamour teeth. But, not this time. I had a few minutes to gather my head and my gear on the way out the door and jumped right onto a Zoom call with my team.
Fortunately, I was 100% remote and could drive home, on the call, and crash for a few hours before rejoining the big web project.
Read more Short-Short Stories from John.